I am both and neither

I am both and neither; A Glimpse into the Cultural Conflict of an Asian American

It began with a thought. 

I wondered if my Asianess or lack thereof, had anything to do with my life choices and spiritual journey, I was searching for more answers, more healing, more understanding...  just more. Do you relate? Have you felt like this? Have you had questions that rise up round your “Asianness” and “Americanness”?   

Yep, me too.

For over 20 years I’ve consumed, practiced, trained and studied the teachings of many ancient and modern spiritual teachers and life coaches. It was great! Their teachings and tools brought me true happiness, healing, and love into my life. I learned a lot and it worked, but something was missing.  NOT one single guide understood my experience of being an Asian American or a child of Asian Immigrants. I realized they could never fully relate or resonate with the subtle and overt influences and nuances of being culturally conflicted; caught between being both and yet neither Asian nor American. Asian Americans live with deeply rooted cultural programming, influences, pressures, and a unique external physical container that only other Asian Americans can understand or relate to. 

So, I’m stepping into the role to be the first Asian American Spiritual guide and life coach. To guide those of us who desperately need to be represented and heard so we can finally know it’s okay to want and have “MORE”.

Are you with me? 🙋🏻‍♀️

I realize that we don’t have this guide in the mainstream because it’s totally taboo, going against everything we’ve been taught and was ingrained from our upbringing.  Don’t express: 

• Your feelings

• Your pain

• Your trauma

• Your struggles

• Your desires

• Your dreams

• Your needs

I’ve always been criticized for sharing my feelings, experiences and emotions. How dare I put myself and my needs first, I should swallow and suffer in silence and do it alone. Even as I write this out, I’m triggered with internal voices of criticism of “How dare I speak up like this,” and “How dare I even share these thoughts.”

Just like you, I get triggered but here’s the thing, I move forward anyways in spite of them. I just tell my ego, “thanks for sharing, now shut the fuck up!”

You don’t have to do this alone. You are not alone, I’m here to help. Download a FREE meditation here.

From my own personal transformation and healing, I have a tool box full of keys to unlock the doors so you can fully and finally step into who you are with confidence, permission, and love. 

🔑 First key is STILLNESS.

Say what? What is this stillness I speak of? It’s about sitting in silence, getting quiet, being in peace and feeling centered so you can listen, gain clairy and be able to handle whatever shows up in your life. Use whatever term you want, meditation, mindfulness, being present. It’s simply a short time you give permission to yourself to take care of you, your needs and just be you.

Not sure how to do that or where to start?  No worries, I’ve got you covered. I created a 3 minute free audio meditation to support and guide so you can start on your journey. Download your FREE meditation here

Transition is Here to Serve

No Seriously! Transition is here to serve you, no seriously! I have hated and dreaded transition most of my life, then as I started on my spiritual journey many decades ago, I came to understand that they were always necessary and a blessing in the end. I saw them as an opportunity for growth and learning of lessons towards something better and working through much-needed shifts. This, however, did not make it easier, nor did I look forward to them in any way. I definitely did not enjoy the process! I found them difficult, triggering and at times the juggling of too many and frequent transitions took me took my knees. I spent a lot of time saying out loud “Seriously Universe, again, really!?” or “Haven’t I learned enough, what else is there for me to learn?” Do you feel me? Have you found yourself saying the same thing?

Each experience trained me, got me stronger and it did get easier and easier being in transition. It got easier because I simply began to trust and surrender to them.  I would roll up my sleeves, get into the yucky stuff inside myself, then do the hard work it took to take the necessary steps. What drove and fueled me was that I didn’t want to go through the same lessons again and again in different variations as I had in the earlier half of my life. And I had full, complete trust, and faith it was always for my highest good, even if I didn’t see it as such - I just made the choice to believed it was. I had a whole system and process I took myself through, began successfully guiding others through their own transitions. But they too found themselves lost in transition repeatedly. I was good at being in transition and they just kept coming again and again. I rolled with it and flowed through them the best  I could because I knew ultimately the Universe has my back.

What I recently learned is going to BLOW YOUR MIND!!! I know when I received this knowing, it shifted everything for me. It was the missing piece in my own personal spiritual toolbox and more than likely, it is also something missing in yours. I hope it will help to bring you more clarity, understanding, and acceptance around transition as it has for me.

I received this message from TRANSITION itself during deep meditation. TRANSITION told me and it wants me to share with you that it needs us to direct it where to go. Yup, you heard correctly TRANSITION needs us to tell it where we want it to take us. The exact message was “If you don’t tell me where to take you, I can’t take you there.” It was followed by “The UNIVERSE always has your back, you trust and believe this. We want everything you want for yourself, we want to give it to you, you just have to ask. So show me and I will just take you there, then you won’t have to keep thinking you are in transition because of me. I’m still with you, I keep coming back because you don’t tell me where I should take you. I keep trying but I have no destination - only you can give me this.”

I share this message with you because it was a game-changer for me. You have to firmly let TRANSITION know exactly where you want it to take you. We get the choice, the UNIVERSE is here to provide miracles and ultimately everything we need to make us fully happy is present and we are always divinely led. TRANSITION is here to take us wherever we would like. We enter into transition because a shift is necessary, this may be because we are not showing up authentically as our true self, we’ve lost our way, or we need to pivot and drop those things that no longer serve us so we can move towards our highest good. We get stuck in transition or transitions keep showing up because we never completely or honestly tell TRANSITION where we want to go, so it keeps trying and trying to get us somewhere which ultimately ends up being nowhere.

Most of us blame the transitional stage or circumstance that got us there or the people we think are at fault. The truth is TRANSITION is here to give us a ride from a location that does not serve us to where we want to be. But the destination is totally up to us!!!  How we get there is going to take reflection, honesty, and action. This is where TRANSITION is here to guide us, as long as it knows where we want it to take us.  Remember, we are always being divinely led. TRANSITION is here to serve us, it is a positive thing and working for our highest good. TRANSITION is only waiting on us, it is waiting for us to have clarity, be truthful with ourselves about our desires and it needs us for our next destination. This is what allows TRANSITION to guide us to the action steps, the dropping of old patterns, and the shifts necessary to get us from where we were, where we are to where we want to be. 

For myself, I want more of what I have now, it is the life I have intentionally and purposefully curated for myself. It took my life turning upside down and inside out, losing everything I thought was real and important, and kicking me in the ass along the way, to wake me up to being honest about myself, my life and the truth of it all. It took me through an unexpected and toxic journey that was difficult, yet ultimately for my highest good. It took a lot of trust, surrender, grace, and grit to get where I am today. 

Next, for me, there are specific things and a path I need to take to attain having even more of what I have in my life and TRANSITION is here guiding me through all of it. It was always here for me, for you too, for us - we were just too busy stressing it out because we weren’t providing it a clear destination. Having this new knowing has allowed me to clear the path for TRANSITION to take me exactly to where I desire to be. I am a willing passenger rather and a cluelessly controlling backseat driver . I’m just here for the ride being ready to take the necessary actions as it guides the way taking me to the destination of my choosing.

If you needs some help, let's talk! Sign up for a FREE 20 Discovery Call with me and let's see how you can use Transition to get you where you want to be! 🙏